Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
