I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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