plz talk dirty to me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i think i just lost a toe
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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