How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
