Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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