she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
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so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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