A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize