piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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