I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
