i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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