i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its not stalking. its research.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
