So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
