I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
