After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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