So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
