We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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