I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
