He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
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He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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