went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
