so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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