It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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