she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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