Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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