He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
