come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
