the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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