I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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