oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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