I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she woke up with a sticky ear
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
