Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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