youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im holly from the hills drunk
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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