Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
