I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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