and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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