Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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