After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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