Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
