My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
either way he was missing a nipple.
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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
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I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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