Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
