I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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