cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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