you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
