In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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