I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I want her autograph on my taint
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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