Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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