dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize