Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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