Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize