That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
