I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize