every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Shame - the story of my life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
