Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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