YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
