I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Text me some of your sweat
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
