Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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