she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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