i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
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That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
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Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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