I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
