I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sext me about skeletons
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
