I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How does one acquire holy water?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
