Someone shit on the floor
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
