I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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